Friendships don’t last long, especially the ones you make during your youth. The bond you share with your friends, draws nourishment from weak reservoirs, such as liking the same show or sharing the same hobbies and largely depend on them being there for your relation to continue.
If you switch schools, you might try to stay in touch, but since you are staying elsewhere, you will lose touch. You will be exposed to a different environment, while they will be exposed to an environment absent of you.
Bonds like these often erode with the passage of time, or when confronted with adversity.
That being said, it is entirely possible for such a friendship to blossom into something that will endure and persevere, but regardless of the sort of friendship you have, they all share one common quality.
And that is, they are insidious to those individuals who seek to make the most out of life.
- I Don’t Think You Understand What Insidious Means.
- Its Not “Them”, Its Human Nature
- Friends And Enemies Are Two Sides Of The Same Coin
- What Is This All About?
- Status Is Power, And Power Changes Everything
- Additional Clarity Into The Thought Process
- That’s Enough About Friends
- Utility of Enemies Over Friends
- Reversal of The Law
- In Conclusion
I Don’t Think You Understand What Insidious Means.
It is indeed repulsive, to equate a blooming flower of trust and companionship with being inherently corrupt and insidious, however it is true only in circumstances where the individual is desperately trying to break out of his mold.
Here’s an example to drive that point home, say you start smoking with your buddies, or because of your buddies.
What makes you think they’d want to see you stop? If you try to stop for reasons too obvious to mention, your buddies will talk you out of it.
If you stick to your decision to stop smoking, that means you will stop hanging out with them during their smoke breaks, which to be honest, is every chance they take break.
That one act alone will pull you away from the team, no matter how long you’ve known each other. That will in turn put them off and stop wanting to associate with you.
You aren’t fun anymore. You don’t have time for them. You took things to the next level by signing up for a gym membership, siphoning away more time that you could spend ruining your health with them.
They will talk smack about you behind your back and you will never be able to go back, unless you “go back” to the person you once were.
It’s Not “Them”, It’s Human Nature
It’s not that they are crooked and mean, but that it’s the current you that they recognize and are comfortable with. They will ridicule and pester you back to the “you” that they think is cool and on the right track.
It’s the crab bucket mentality in action.
Although they will speak of making the most out of their life and of their health, when they actually see someone working towards that goal, they will pull him back to the dream-bicker-stagnate stage that they are festering in because Me No Like Outside -Outside Scary So We Stay Here.
But that is not all.
There is something much more insidious at play, which will cost you more than just their company. It has played out badly in the past for kings who took their friendships too seriously, and as for the kings who understood the value and nature of friendship, it played out well, ushering in prosperity for centuries.
Friends and Enemies are Two Sides of the Same Coin
This is something many fail to realize.
Your friends are temporary, for the plain and simple fact that they associate and recognize with those who fit their social and ideological standpoints.
“But I have rich friends!”
You are friends now, but the chances that your friendship will persist into adulthood is minuscule.
Most problems we face as adults are related to finance.
He will always be able to help you, but you will never be able to help him. Power is in his possession, while you have none in comparison.
“But I have a friend who supports XYZ policies that I am vehemently against!”
When push comes to shove, he will shove you aside to place politicians he deems fit for the job into positions of power, either through mob violence, like what was witnessed at the US during the seize of the capitol, or by lobbying for more censorship and government intervention, like the left leaning crowd does.
What Is This All About?
Friendships are fragile and don’t last as long as you think they do. They are also not what you think they are – they are not eternal bonds that keep giving.
Everything has a price, and we assume this price magically drops to zero when dealing with friends, like as if they were federal reserves that operate on a zero balance.
When you offer someone a favor, you have a tendency to magnify the value you provide to that someone – the same can be said in reverse.
Now where friends are concerned, the value of the favors you request or provide are astronomically magnified because you are “friends” and friends are supposed to help each other out, and you are an ingrate destined to spend eternity in hell if you don’t help your poor friend out.
You wouldn’t take it personally if an acquaintance turns you down for a favour, but you will lose sleep over it if it were a friend.
“How dare he/she/ze! Doesn’t he/she/ze care about our friendship?!”
Friends are easily roused to jealously, and can just as easily morph into sworn enemies. The love he once had for you has now transformed into searing hot hatred, and he will do everything in his power to bring you down.
Sometimes, you are only asking your friend for favors purely on the merits of the friendship you share with him, which is bound to incite resentment.
Read that once more, you are only asking him for favors because he is your FRIEND, and each time you approach him for X, Y or Z, you are approaching him as a FRIEND, and no one turns down a FRIEND if he wants to continue being FRIENDS with you.
That is what breeds resentment.
The veil that shrouds your favors, morphs them into unreasonable demands. It’s akin to being chained to a ball of responsibilities you have to tug along in order to maintain the relationship.
I’m repeating this once more to drive that point home.
Status is Power, and It Changes Everything
Each time you make an ascension, either socially or financially, you lose friends, no matter how close you are to them. Same goes for friends who make progress in their own lives – they will value your companionship even less and eventually drift apart.
When this happens, we get upset, and pin a series of vices onto them, such as greedy, arrogant, opportunistic, two-faced, selfish and what nots, not realizing that it is a flaw in our perception that is to blame.
Once you acquire status, you are introduced to a wide array of opportunities that include interacting with bigshots who could take you from where you are today to where you could be.
This translates into pooling more time into your projects by draining it from time spent with friends who are already starting to see your market value skyrocket and feeling insecure about it.
If you are making progress and wish to make more, you ought to make friends with those who are making progress themselves. If you are still friends with people you’ve known ten years ago, then you are not making progress.
Because they haven’t made progress, and they don’t want to see you make any either.
Very rarely do we have friends who work together with a vision in mind. It’s mostly “You watch anime? OH KEWL!” sort of friendships.
Additional Clarity Into The Thought Process
A king rules over his disciples only because he is seen as someone superior to them. If he is seen bantering with his disciples like he were one of them, those very disciples will lose respect for him. The king, in his desire to be loved and cherished and viewed as a man who is from and for his subjects, loses everything.
“How can you let yourself be ruled by someone who is just like you? If he is just like everyone else, then he shouldn’t be up on that throne.
I should be there instead.”
That is how we think.
A king is supposed to RULE, and you can only rule if you are superior. They might resent you for wanting to keep your distance and making clear distinctions, but that will invite their fear and respect.
That’s Enough About Friends.
Let’s flip the cover and visit the enemy hiding beneath it.
Enemies are demonized and kept at bay for good reasons. You can’t trust an enemy because he wants to see you in ruin, but you can always trust the enemy to behave in opposition to you.
This means, you can use them to your advantage.
A Chinese emperor used this little known concept to put an end their history of violent coups that plagued them, where the kings were overthrown by generals, and who’s heirs in turn were overturned by future generals.
He called all his generals and promised them riches and a lofty life if they agreed to step down from their positions. The king had offered them an alternative to a life of constant dread and anxiety that they were currently forced to endure every single day, which is why they agreed to the settlement. With that one act, he tamed all the lions in the room. He used this tactic in a myriad of different ways over the course of his rule, and with that his dynasty lasted for over three hundred years.
When you work with an enemy, the foundation is built on self-interests absent of personal feelings. They won’t be able to tug at your strings, because they aren’t expecting anything in return from you.
They have pooled their focus into achieving whatever it is you have set out to achieve in this unholy matrimony you have forged with him, and to get it over with as soon as possible.
Utility of Enemies Over Friends
This is why it is best to see enemies as useful tools you could one day leverage to your advantage when the time comes, as opposed to betting on your friends to show up – those very friends who will surprise you one day with their real behaviour when the sheets come off.
We tend to hide our disgust, contempt and irrationality from friends, because we want them to continue being friends with us. We all put on a show – and I assure you that 100% of your friends are lying to you every time you meet up.
They will hide things from you, not because they don’t trust you, but because they don’t trust themselves or because they are smart enough to realize what you are realizing right now.
Also, you won’t feel guilty for using an enemy to do your bidding, because he is after all, an enemy.
Reversal of The Law
In some instances, it would make sense to use a friend because he is the only one willing to take the fall for you, much due to his feelings of loyalty and attachment towards you.
Sometimes, things can go horribly wrong, and he will resent you for talking him into this game of yours.
Remember this, the moment you play this card, you will have exhausted it. You will never get your friend back. He is gone forever, or will come back as an enemy with a vengeance.
But despite everything I’ve mentioned here, it is always best to maintain more friends than enemies. If you have too many enemies, people will automatically assume you are bad company, and if you have too little, people will get suspicious.
In your ascent to power, you should do everything in your power to blend in, as opposed to standing out. There’s a time to stand out, and that is when the opportunity presents itself.
This article wasn’t written to demonize friendship, but to shine some light on the dynamics that govern it. Not everything is sunshine and rainbows and unicorns, because the sun doesn’t shine 24/7, rainbows are distortions and unicorns don’t exist. People are stuck perpetually waiting for the “right time”, distort facts and worship non-existent beings because reality is so twisted, that only psychopaths can call it home.
Not everything is what it seems, and if you want to survive in this world of ours, you have to swallow some red pills along the way.