I bet the title will leave you confused, since focus is a consciously driven action.
Misery is a state of mind brought about unconsciously, and to curb its effects using focus is like trying to empty a lake using a bucket. You only have control over the bucket, not of the lake which fills itself with or without your consent.
So toss that bucket aside and get out of the water, unless you want people to think you’re crazy.
We’ve all tasted the fruits of misery and threw up right away because of how rotten and disgusting it is. But that doesn’t stop us from shoving more of those nasty fruits down our throats, not because we want to, but because we believe it is essential for our growth.
And to a certain extent it is.
Misery and pain are what drive us to achieve great things, hoping we can seek refuge in those achievements. Misery rains down on us, piercing into us like needles my mom used to prick me with whenever I acted out.
So misery is a form of motivation – one that motivates you to keep running or to keep drowning. Pain is what it uses to shock your system and since we aren’t all that fond of it(unless you are a masochist) we seek for outlets to reduce the pain.
To Run or To Drown
We all start off by running away from our problems since we aren’t taught how to handle them, but misery chases after us like Usain Bolt. He will push us into the dirt and beat us up, until we get up and start running again after which he catches up to us and beats the living crap out of us once more. Usain Bolt can be a little rough at times.
So its inevitable that we lose the will to go on and give up along the way, letting Usain Bolt win the Olympics for asswhooping, and we switch lanes and jump into the cool refreshing water for a swim.
That’s become our attitude towards life.
Think about how we go about earning ourselves an income. We get jobs that we hate, which essentially converts us into wage slaves. We remain stuck in this rut because we are convinced that this is all we are capable of.
We see how everyone else is incredibly unhappy with their jobs and adult life, and we reason ourselves into accepting it as our fate, as we drift about in the waters.
Swimming is rejuvenating, until it is not.
Imagine splashing about in the water until the race ends; staying there even after the chlorine gets into your eyes and you start screaming in agony, because getting blinded by chlorine is far better than receiving an asswhooping on dry land.
The water is there to relieve and cool you off until you’re ready to get back onto the race track, but you’ve decided to plunge deep into the waters in an attempt to stay hidden.
You also hope that evolution takes place quickly and you develop gills and fins.
The cool refreshing water is a synonym for the drugs and pointless entertainment that make their way into our lives. We spend what we earn chasing highs to reduce the stress we receive from working ourselves to death.
Aaand We’re Drowning
Which is inevitable.
Misery isn’t something that will just go away. Expecting the situation to resolve itself without your intervention is delusional to say the least.
“Just give it time” is really bad advice when its given to someone looking for a shortcut just to get it over with.
There is no shortcut to the top. You either take the road less traveled or the road saturated with others just like you, hoping they stumble across a treasure chest laid out in plain sight, waiting for someone to get their greedy paws on them.
Daily Dose of Pleasure
Pleasure inducing substances are consumed by the truckloads, with more showing up at the border each day. Maybe that’s why Trump decided to build that wall.
And like most things, it has its downsides. Constant pleasure deadens the senses. You will reach a stage where the pleasure you receive starts to bring an equal dose of pain. Your desire for more will morph into an uncontrollable beast that will lash out at you because its grown so big that no matter how much you feed it, it will never be enough.
These substances puts us in a constant state of dissatisfaction which drives us to seek temporary relief – temporary because we’ve been conditioned into thinking that to suffer needlessly is to live. In the end, its misery that succeeds, since he loves stagnation.
Maybe earlier, a single shot of vodka could get your head spinning, but now only an entire bottle will generate the effect you crave.
Maybe now you need to smoke a bag full of weed to get the high you crave.
Maybe now you need someone to rub your shoulders and feed you grapes to experience the comfort you crave. What, no one?
The buddies are there to spoil you. Think of them as tattooed pricks that crash every party they’re at, with stress being the idiot inviting them to each of those parties.
And it makes little to no sense blaming them.
Stress builds ups and seeks for an outlet but because we haven’t been taught how to blow off steam in a productive manner, we defer to substances that help us relax.
Why Do We Seek Pleasure?
Because we are hardwired to seek pleasure.
Nature designed us to seek out the things that will sustain us. Every time we engage in activities that increase our chance of survival, Mother Nature rewards us with pleasure. Consuming berries, roots, milk and meat induce pleasure for they are essential to our survival. Having unprotected sex rewards us with intense pleasure in the moment along with a surprise package nine months later.
Bathing in all that pleasure relaxes us because we’ve accomplished our goal. Its Mother Nature’s way of patting us on the back for a job well done.
But she never predicted how fast we’d grow. Now we have discovered ways to short-circuit the system and pat ourselves on the back, sometimes with so much intensity that it leaves us unconscious. You can have unprotected sex and receive the momentary pleasure without having to deal with the unexpected package nine months down the lane.
And constantly indulging in pleasure disrupts our ability to focus because for pleasure to happen, you have to relax. No one experience pleasure while remaining stiff like a board. And what happens when you relax? You lose the ability to focus.
You can only focus if you are in a state of controlled tension. By constantly indulging in pleasure, the muscles that power your focus have weakened. A dull focus brings in dull results, as is evident from merely looking around.
That is why constant pleasure is deadening – it takes away your ability to focus. If time is currency, then focus is the tool you use to manage and regulate it.
Focus is Your Worth Multiplying Tool.
When you are in the zone, you can pay attention to the places you want, instead of letting it disperse into whatever captures your attention.
Getting into that zone is the first challenge, and staying in it is the biggest challenge.
Transform your desire for focus into an obsession. Not all obsessions are the same, and some have the ability to radically transform your quality of life. Focus happens to be one of them that have a high return on investment.
Why obsession? That’s because its only when you can maintain monstrous levels of focus that you can accomplish tasks that will elevate your work ethic which in turn elevates you out of your misery.
Constant experience of failure is what drowns us in misery, and achieving something beyond ourselves is what will propel you out of your nosedive into the dark waters of misery.
Because ultimately – learning, accomplishing and sharing your experiences is what gives you meaning, and the light shone off your achievements is what will vanquish the demons of your past while gifting you the ability to enlighten others and take them along in your journey towards self-fulfilment.
So to achieve anything of value in life, you need focus. In fact, you’ll need focus like a druggie needs his daily shot of dope. That’s how committed you have to be, and as scary as that sounds, it’s entirely doable.
You hate the work you do because you lack the work ethic that will allow you to reach different heights. Simply put, it’s not your work that frustrates you,
but your lack of worth ethic that does.
Once you develop that work ethic and start covering milestones with them, that’s when you will start enjoying it. It’s all about the progress – the better you get at something the more interest you end up developing in it and it’s this momentum that will carry you forward.
But Start Small.
Focus is an exhaustible resource and letting it bleed will cost you dearly in the future. Time waits for no one, and you can only put it into good use once you focus on giving it your all during every moment that passes you by. All those wisely invested moments are what sum up into a day well spent.
Take baby steps and inch your way to the top. Don’t stress out too much. You don’t reach any level of mastery by finding shortcuts or racing towards the top, it’s done by working on digestible chunks and pushing yourself once you’re fairly comfortable and believe you can take on bigger challenges.
Failure is good, but if your mind is saturated with only setbacks it will drain you out of your motivation to press on, which is why I am encouraging you to take one step at a time. The road paved by arrogance leads you to an early death, in this case, the death of your ambition.
And that is how it pulls you out of your misery – by teaching you to enjoy the work you do.